Would any kind souls out there be willing to give me feedback on my synopsis? I could use some objective eyes. My working title is Garolass, and it’s a YA fantasy complete at 84,000 words.
Seventeen year old Molly expects to spend her summer playing Candyland with her little siblings, working on her art school applications, and squirming under her stepmom’s critical gaze. When she’s chased through the woods by something preternaturally fast, everything changes. Beautiful, rich Gemma West rescues Molly and takes her under her wing. After sneaking out to a party at Gemma’s, Molly finds that she’s actually stumbled into a parallel world (Garolass), where Gemma’s father is a high-ranking government official called the Guardian. She meets Gemma’s smug brother Julien, the future heir, and his friend Quinn, to whom she’s immediately attracted. Unfortunately, Quinn has a girlfriend.
The party is interrupted by beautiful, eerie music that causes a strange melancholy among the guests. On the way home, Molly’s approached by Rielle, a girl her age who moves with uncanny speed. Gemma warns that Rielle is dangerous and urges Molly not to trust any of the Giovanti, who possess genetic abnormalities that give them enhanced abilities. Once considered gods who ruled Garolass by divine right, the Giovanti are now an outcast minority.
Rielle convinces Molly to attend a bonfire party at the Giovanti camp deep in the woods. Molly meets a young acrobat named Henry and Rielle’s handsome brother Ky, whose singing charms people. She is horrified when Rielle explains that anyone with any extraordinary talent—including artists—are now considered dangerous enemies of the state, frequently imprisoned or placed into reprogramming schools.
Quinn visits Molly in her world, but their romantic afternoon is interrupted when Julien demands Quinn help him hunt down a Giovanti “freak.” Molly follows them and watches as Rielle and her friends threaten the future Guardian. The argument quickly turns physical; Quinn gets a broken arm trying to protect Julien.
Meanwhile, Molly presses her visiting grandmother for answers about her parents’ divorce. She learns that her mother had been sneaking off to see another man. Through a string of coincidences, Molly begins to wonder whether her mom may have been visiting Garolass too.
Molly falls asleep at the Giovanti camp and misses her dad’s birthday dinner. Unable to explain where she was, she gets into a fight with her stepmom and is grounded. Gemma manipulates Molly into sneaking out to watch a motorcycle race between Julien and their friend Bree—where the only other spectator is Quinn. Afterwards, Bree reveals that she’s still in love with her ex, Julien, and warns Molly about getting involved with someone who’s unavailable.
Ky visits Molly, charming her family—and her. When Quinn witnesses a kiss between Molly and Ky, he’s furious with her for fraternizing with the enemy. He explains how dangerous the Giovanti can be: her new friends’ parents were part of a group responsible for a terrorist bombing that killed Gemma and Julien’s grandfather, the former Guardian. After Quinn leaves, Molly discovers a familiar Giovanti face in her parents’ wedding album. She realizes her mom is Giovanti—and, worse, the mass-murdering terrorist she’s just learned about is her own uncle.
Molly fears that everyone has been using her. Quinn swears that while Gemma initially asked him to pursue Molly, his feelings are now genuine; he has broken up with his girlfriend. Molly worries that if her mom is Giovanti, she may be too, and her new relationship with Quinn is as doomed as her parents’ marriage.
Julien, Quinn, and Gemma’s brutish boyfriend follow Molly to the Giovanti camp. Henry, her newfound cousin, is their target, and they tranquilize several of the Giovanti protecting him. Bree comes to Henry’s rescue, revealing that she can fly in the process. Julien crashes his motorcycle into a tree chasing Henry. Several of the Giovanti, including Rielle, are arrested; the rest are homeless now that their camp has been discovered and destroyed. Quinn lets Molly, Ky, and Henry escape but rejects Molly after learning who her mother is.
Molly hides the refugees in her neighbor’s cabin and calls her mom for help. Bree reveals that Julien’s accident wasn’t an accident: his brakes were sabotaged, and she’s the scapegoat. Molly agrees to meet Quinn over everyone’s objections, but Gemma, not Quinn, waits for Molly. She reveals that due to her brother’s tragic “accident,” she’ll now be the heir. As such, she strongly suggests that Molly renounce her art to become the public face of the Giovanti retraining program—or her family and Quinn will face repercussions.
Quinn arrives, unknowingly rescuing Molly. He apologizes for his prejudice against the Giovanti but still suspects them of trying to assassinate Julien. Molly’s mom interrupts them midst make-up. She urges Molly to move in with her. Furious with her for keeping so many secrets, Molly decides to stay with her dad. She resolves to claim her “freak” heritage and protect the people she loves from Gemma. .