News

01
Oct

September 30, 2006

When we were working with our minister to design our wedding ceremony, she asked us what images and words we’d use to describe our relationship. 

I really liked the image of two trees whose branches and roots mingle over time. Maybe it’s because I read the Baucis and Philemon myth at a formative age, I don’t know.

My husband and I started dating when he was 22 and I had just turned 20. At the time, he was a recent college graduate and a cigarette-smoking cynic. He was working as a reporter for a local paper and acting in some college plays. I, on the other hand, was a bouncy, sheltered college sophomore who spent like six hours a day in various rehearsals and another six dealing with dorm drama. I was an eternal optimist, an English/Drama double major and a creative writing minor.  

My "baby" sister just turned 20 last week. It seems crazy-young to me now.

I have grown so much in the last eight years. Steve has too. I’ve tempered my exuberance with a dash of realism. He’s softened his bombast. I learned to watch–and occasionally even like–crime procedurals. He doesn’t miss Project Runway. He quit smoking, lost 50 pounds, and became a vegetarian. I quit expecting him to read my mind and learned to tell him what I needed. He quit acting and found his ambition in playwriting. I learned to become a little less focused and perfectionistic, and I started writing again. He makes me laugh. I keep him organized. He’s shared his huge lovable cat. I share my huge crazy family. He’s got me hooked on Neil Gaiman and Buffy comics. I’ve got him hooked on Paula Vogel plays and Canasta.

I don’t know nearly as much about love and romance as I thought I did at 20 (I’d read Gone with the Wind like seven times, okay?). But I’ve seen my parents’ marriage and my dad’s second marriage end in divorce. I know that you have to grow both separately and together.

It’s not always been easy. But it’s so profoundly worth it.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.