But I also find it to be work, difficult, brain-breaking, painstaking in a way that first-drafting isn’t. I can’t just dive in. I need long stretches of time, and the paying job has been stressful and sort of soul-crushing lately, and I have to fight myself to find the time and the energy simultaneously on nights and weekends. At three p.m. when I’m filing memos, on the way to work with my iPod, in that twilight state before sleep at night, I get great ideas, I want nothing more than to immerse myself in Garolass–but by the time I’m home again at six, all I want is the comforting oblivion of a nap or a book or an episode of Glee.
I’m sooo close to being finished, though. Then I can watch all the mindless tv I want, sans guilt. Then I can dive into that ever-growing pile of books on the coffee table. I’m hoping in the next week I can send these revisions to Awesomesauce Agent Jim, and if he thinks they’re better enough, he’ll send them on to the editors who wanted to see them.